Where are they now?
by Teh Vivid
Summary: HIATUS! Sorry, but muse for this fanfic is at a minimum. A quarter of a way through the fourth chapter. You will see a lot of oneshots, though, in the Kingdom Hearts, FFVII,X,X2, and Naruto, though, mostly to test my skills.
1. The Madwomen

Deep in the confines of the castle, the Organization- alive but not necessarily well- was arguing. Let's see about what …

"Well, we've failed to become 'whole' again," Marluxia said, bitterness adding an additional edge to his voice.

"But _I'm_ back!" Roxas exclaimed, leaping out of his chair only to fall backwards in the process. The older members of the Organization groaned while Axel, Demyx, and Larxene laughed at the fifteen year old's mishap. For the older members, putting up with Axel, Demyx, Roxas, and Larxene got it memorized? … -thunk- shut UP, Axel was literally a hell in Castle Oblivion. None of them were exactly the 'paternal' type, so to speak.

"Let's be pirates!" Axel exclaimed, leaping successfully onto his chair. Demyx took hold of his sitar as if they were going to start singing. They didn't. "We'll sail the open seas, steal riches, and then bury them! What could possibly go wrong?"

"Yes, I am soo game! Pirates _sing_!" Of course, the speaker was now Demyx who was also on top of his chair, sitar in hand.

Roxas spoke up, scrambling onto his chair, "Come on, you _know_ you want to!" The three cheered, and Larxene suddenly had an idea.

Watching them make fools of themselves would be the absolute entertainment she'd been needing for a while now. She unfolded her arms and stood up, "Alright, I'm game." She, though, wasn't acting like a total freak, simply standing on top of her chair watching the others.

For a while, the nine older members were engrossed in a deep conversation about whether or not to become pirates. After almost an eternity, in Axel time- in reality it was about five minutes Xemnas stood on his chair, and, as if pretending to be Big Red of Peter Pan, he folded his arms and nodded. Moments later, Xaldin opened a portal through which they all stepped through. At first, they were shocked. "My calculations must have been wrong…" Xaldin muttered in his overly-dramatic voice. "We were supposed to be on a dock, not a ship." It seemed as if the Organization was alone. They looked about the boat. It was a solid color of bloodstone, and the Organization immediately realized that they might be on a rather dangerous ship. Roxas clung to Larxene who swore and kicked him off of her.

"I sense … A disturbance in the force…" Vexen looked up fearfully, and all eyes were on him. "Something wicked this way comes …"

"Come on, can't you talk not-quotes from movies?" Axel demanded, trying to seem at ease, yet his heart was pounding. Whose ship could they possibly be on?

"No, I'm seri- Oh my goodness! Xemnas!" The entire crowd shifted to see a girl of roughly sixteen on top of their leader, pinning him to the ground. She had tied his wrists together with his ankles, and Xemnas let out a weak 'mercy…?' Seconds later, Demyx screamed as another sixteen year old leapt from the Crow's Nest.

"No, Sashi, a man with power!" 'Sashi' looked up, and nodded at her companion. She leapt from an emotionally scarred Demyx to Xaldin where she, too, tied him up like her friend. Sashi put the finishing touches up, and tie them to a barrel full of goodness knows what. Xemnas, with his old heart, had fainted, and Xaldin was struggling but to no avail. The rest of the Organization- except ever-oblivious Roxas- took a large step backwards. These were the pirates who had this ship blood red? No one dared to try to help their fallen leaders.

"Toasters!" Sashi screamed, pacing back in forth, watching the others with a cold stare. Was it, perhaps, a code?

Suddenly, a small squirtgun with a pair of tiny feet came charging out of the cabin, trampling somehow Xigbar, Roxas, and Axel before leaping into the other girl's outstretched hand. She was _conversing_ with it? "Yes, yes of course, Squirt. No, no … I see. From a Castle, you say? Mhm…" She looked up and eyed the Organization who couldn't help but take another step back. Squirt the squirt gun disappeared in a poof before the girl took a step forward.

"I," Her voice boomed through the whole ship despite its rather girlish texture, "am First Mate Vivid. Co-captain of the S.S. Squirt gun, guru to pirate trainees, and, of course, leader in the shout of our battle cry." Axel and Demyx couldn't help but brighten slightly. They were pirate trainees! "You shall address me as FMV, FM, Vivid, or First Mate." She turned and nodded to Sashi who looked as if she might feast on their hearts.

"Toasters!" Her voice was almost identical to Vivid's- Vexen couldn't help but wonder who was more insane. One talked to squirt guns, and the other randomly shouted 'toasters' at will. "I am Captain Sasha Doe. Captain of the S.S. Squirt gun, plotter of maps, steerer of the ship, and burier of treasure. I also give the orders to our squirt gun crew who are, currently, rowing us towards the isle of Phantom Bay as we speak. You _will_ address me as Captain, Captain Doe, Captain Sasha, CSD. Only Vivid may call me Sashi, if any of you ingrates do, well … Toasters!" The entire Organization- except Roxas- jumped back once more, nearly knocking Lexaeus overboard.

"Squirt, my first mate," Vivid began, taking a step forward. The Organization felt slightly uneasy, "Has told me who each of you are, and what you want. Axel, Demyx, Roxas, and Larxene, you shall accompany me below the deck where I shall teach you how to be a pirate of the S.S.S.G.. Got it-?"

"Memorized?"

"Shut up, Axel," This was Luxord, the gambler. Some of the others couldn't help but snicker at the fact that Axel couldn't help himself when it came to his catch phrase. Vivid, too, was even smiling.

"Follow me." The four Organization members had no choice, and they followed the insane sixteen year old to the hold below. The fear in Larxene's eyes was priceless, as was the relief in Demyx's, apparently he was more afraid of Captain Doe than Vivid. Then again, Vivid hadn't tackled him to the ground, much unlike Sashi.

The remaining seven watched Sasha warily, and she watched them with a rather unnerving gaze. Vexen braced himself, he knew what was coming. "Toasters!" This eliminated Lexaeus, as well Saix when they fell overboard. The tomahawk, however, was left in the side of the ship unbeknownst to everyone. Slowly, it began inching it's way down, leaving a large gap for water to leak in. But that is for later. Sasha walked up to Vexen, and nodded. "You learn quickly. Good. Now, I have a job for you." Vexen couldn't help but bow a little at the command in her voice, "Go and decipher the map of Phantom Isle, it'll be easier to find the treasure with a deciphered map." Vexen bowed, deeper this time, before trotting off to the map that was pinned, easily, onto one of the poles. Sasha turned to the rest of them, "You can learn a lesson from all three of your companions. If you do not learn quickly, you will surely lose your life- again- in this deadly sea, but, if you learn quickly, then you shall have a place on the S.S.S.G."

The remaining four, Xigbar, Marluxia, Zexion, and Luxord shifted uncomfortable. Waiting.

**A/N** What will happen to the remaining four of the Organization. Are Lexaeus and Saix _really _dead? What about Xemnas and Xaldin, they have to be waking up soon. How are Axel, Demyx, Roxas, and Larxene fairing with First Mate Vivid? All to come in the next chapter of WHERE ARE THEY NOW? Reviews are gladly welcomed. D Don't mind my cheesy humor, k?


	2. The Acceptence

Now, we return the helpless members in the Hold. It would seem to any simpleminded person that Vivid was trying to teach her new trainees how to hold a sword, _correctly_. The four were not fairing so well, not even the witty, sarcastic Larxene. "You see," Vivid was saying, completely seriously, "Is hold the sword by the point…" While the four seemed completely lost in the new aspect, Vivid was handling it quite well, "And use the hilt to bash people on the head."

"What!" This was Demyx who had been certain not five minutes ago that one held the sword by the hilt and sliced with the point. He had a large, rather gruesome cut on his thumb. "Isn't it-"

"Silence!" Vivid shouted, placing her hands on her hips. After a moment of watching the four struggle with using holding the tips, Vivid burst out laughing. "And….And you guys thought I was _serious!_" She exclaimed, shaking with laughter. Roxas laughed with her, but simply because he'd missed why and felt that laughing with the madwoman was best for his health. Axel took matters into his own hands and kicked her in the shin.

"Oww!" She howled in pain, holding her knee. "That _hurt_!"

"Well that's what you get when you make me slice my palm!" He held up a bleeding hand to her, and she stifled laughter.

"How come you can hold a sword like that?" Demyx asked, even more confused than he was before.

"Because I am not the Captain, and I do not slice people open. Oh, I do know how to fight with the edge, but bashing people on the head and keeping the ship clean is much better. You wouldn't _believe_ how much it cost to get this ship all bloodstone." The four nodded again, shifting. "Anyway," Vivid flipped the sword in the air and caught its hilt. Then she put it down and took out some bandages. "For the poor Axel and Demyx who are most dedicated and most bloody," She laughed lightly and wrapped a bandage around Axel's palm, and another around Demyx's thumb. "Better?" The pair nodded. Again, Vivid picked up her sword, tossed it, then made a slicing motion in front of her. "So, yeh really wanna learn how to be pirates?" She asked, looking at them hard. The four nodded, eagerly, even Larxene- she was impressed with Vivid's skills, mad or otherwise. "Alright, then!" She gestured at the four's sword. "Hold the sword at its hilt. No, no, Roxas, the _other_ hilt…"

Xemnas and Xaldin were finally coming to, only to knock heads. "'ey? The hell?" Xemnas shouted, trying to stand, but to no avail. Instead, the man fell backwards onto Xaldin who called out in outrage and anger. The pair began battling for the topside, but, being bound at their abdomen, they were not getting very far.

"I can't believe you made us come here!" Xaldin complained.

"What! You opened the portal onto this Hell-Ship!" Xemnas defended.

"We wouldn't be on the Hell-Ship if you hadn't agreed with those crazy adolescents!"

"We wouldn't be on the Hell-Ship if you could get your latitude and longitude correct!"

"We wouldn't be on the Hell-Ship if you hadn't obeyed Axel!"

"We wouldn't be on the Hell-Ship if you hadn't obeyed me!"

"I would not have obeyed you if you hadn't threatened rape!"

"I would not have threatened rape if you had obeyed me in the first place!"

"So it's your fault!"

"No, it's yours!"

"What, how is it my fault?"

"For being stupid and opening the portal to the S.S. Squirt Gun!"

"It wouldn't have been stupid and opened the portal to the S.S. Squirt Gun if you hadn't threatened to molest Marluxia!"

"_You_ threatened to molest Marluxia unless we gave you Cheetos- last week!"

"Oh, right... Well, you still threatened to rape me!"

"Because _you_ wanted to be the leader!"

"And if I _was_ the leader, we wouldn't be on the Hell-Ship!"

"Whatever, I'm not listening!"

"This is why you _suck_ at being the leader!"

"La, la, lalala, laa! Not listening to the dummy-head I'm stuck to!"

"Wha- Oh, fine then!"

Young Squirt sat atop a barrel, watching them with much glee. For a while, he went quite unnoticed. Then Xaldin looked up.

"Hey, Xemnas…"

"No-o-o-o-o-ot listeni-i-ing!"

"No, I'm serious, Xemnas. Umm…"

"La, lala, lala, la, la…"

"Umm… God?"

From above, thunder roared in response.

"Okay, fine. Umm… Mistour Cheese?"

Xemnas stopped, "What is it, young Olive?"

"There's a squirt gun watching us…"

"Really? Maybe he can help."

"Doubt it."

"Here, I can communicate…" Xemnas started spitting on the ground next to him in some sort of morse code. Squirt responded by walking up to Xemnas and spraying him on the nose. Xemnas glowered at the creature and tried to swat it away, but his arm was tied to Xaldin's, and he ended up elbowing his own side.

"Stupid Hell-Ship creature…" Squirt moved to his ear where he squirted more water into Xemnas' ear before leaving to the hold, clearly, to tell Vivid about what was going on.

"Wow, you are so fluent in Squirt Gun. Teach me, Wise Xemnas, how to speak that forgotten language," Xaldin said, acidly.

Xemnas simply _humphed_ and went back to humming.

Vexen was currently working on deciphering the map which was clearly drawn in green and pink crayon. Crayola crayon. On a sheet of recycled paper. "The hell?" Vexen turned the sheet over, looking for some sort of clue. Drawn on the sheet of recycled paper was a little island with one palm tree and three random x's circled it. "Wow, the pirates who made this map are quite cunning…"

In truth, Captain Sasha had simply drawn a picture and decided it existed. Then added three x's for no particular reason. "According to this map, we should be at the island by nightfall. I haven't much time!" He gathered the map deciphering equipment that he could find- a number two pencil, a grey crayon, tissues, and a scented candle- and began. "Maybe if I- No, no…" For all that the map didn't mean anything, Vexen was quite into it. Then again, Vexen did not realize that no Phantom Bay Isle existed. At all. Ever. Ever, ever.

"Toasters!" No one jumped back this time. "Good, good…" She paced back and forth, surveying the remaining Organization members. "You, Luxord, how can you help this ship?"

Luxord bowed, "I, my Captain, am a gambler. I can win us much if you give me a deck of cards and someone worth playing against."

"Oh, delicious!" Sasha exclaimed, "There's a man in the prisoners' quarters below who's been betting for his freedom and everything on this ship- but the ship- if he wins. If not, he's agreed to jump ship." She surveyed him a moment longer. "Can you beat him?"

"Of course, my Captain," Luxord bowed deeply and strode down into the prisoner's quarters. His story will be discussed in the following chapter.

"And, you, big man."

"Xigbar, my Captain."

"Right, I would like you and your wind to conduct us so that we're west. If you give us enough power, we should reach Phantom Bay by nightfall." Sasha gestured towards the Crow's Nest. "Up there you will best conduct your wind, but be careful to befriend the Sea-doggish squirt gun, Orahnj, he is quite deadly if he's not on your side." Xigbar, too, bowed, and began up the ladder to the Crow's Nest. His story, too, will soon be discussed.

"So that leaves Zexion and Marluxia, by the way, Marluxia, I love your hair."

"Ooshmagosh! Really, Captain Doe? Do you think so?"

"I know so. I know, I have the perfect job for the pair of you. I would like Marluxia to do my hair, and, you, Zexion, can you steer this ship?"

"Of course, My Captain," The pair said in unison, then bowed. Sasha brought Marluxia to the stern of the ship and sat down. Marluxia sat, Indian-style, behind her and requested a comb, a brush, hair ties, and other hair accessories that were quickly brought to him by a pair of young powder squirt guns. He nodded in thanks and began.

Zexion, on the other hand, was doing a rather splendid job steering the ship. "One, two, three. One, two, three…" At every count of three, Zexion would turn the wheel a full inch. He kept this method up until he, accidentily, had the ship turned all the way off course. Not that Zexion realized this, and continued this method, soon leaning with the ship. "One, two, three. One, two, three…"

**A/N** End Chapter II!

Will Axel, Larxene, Roxas, and Demyx master the sword? Will Xemnas and Xaldin ever escape, and, if they do, what then? What of Lexaeus and Saix who've yet to be mentioned? And Luxord and the mysterious gambler? Marluxia and Captain Doe's hair? Will Zexion ever realize that the ship is off course. Tune in … Soon for the next chapter of WHERE ARE THEY NOW?


	3. Merry Little Thought

"Ah hah! Ha! Yes! You've got it now, you do!" That was Vivid speaking as she fought wooden sword to wooden sword against Demyx while the others watched. Roxas had a large gash on his face after a duel had gone awry between Vivid and himself when she tripped. Klutz. Larxene was nursing an injured arm she had gotten from Axel, and Axel was just as healthy as Vivid and Demyx. Apparently, Roxas and Larxene weren't so cut out for it. Finally, Vivid knocked Demyx's sword out of his hand right before he knocked her to the ground. Both were panting, and Vivid was patting Demyx on the back. Between breaths, she said, "Good job, you Three…"

Squirt then toppled her to the ground and began babbling in his own language. The other four listened carefully, but understood not a word. Vivid, on the other hand, was stroking the squirt gun's 'head' and was trying to calm him down. "Oh, so, they've awaken," She said, nodding and sitting up, holding Squirt in her hands. She looked up at Larxene and Roxas, "Since you two aren't so lucky with the sword-"

"You tripped, it wasn't _my _fault!"

"Okay, since Larxene isn't as good with the sword as the rest of us, she must report to Captain Doe for further orders." Larxene nodded slowly, but she was giving Vivid an icy stair. She turned and stalked up the stairs, leaving Squirt, Roxas, Axel, and Demyx to look at Vivid. Waiting.

"What about us, FMV?" Demyx asked, sitar in hand. "What should we do?"

"Well, I do believe that that is enough practice for the day. _But_ it just so happens that there is one more trick to learn…" She stood up and walked over to a random cupboard and pulled out a small bottle. Inside was a fairy that much resembled Tinkbell from Peter Pan. "This." She said, holding up the bottle, "This will allow us to fly."

"Why do we need to learn how to fly?" Axel asked.

"I… Have no clue. It's just fun." She pulled out the small fairy who was turning red with rage. Still, the wee fairy did her bidding and returned to the bottle to pout. "Tink is still upset the Peter left her for Wendy, you see, and so I was asked to keep her for him while he was on a date with her. I've had her for about a month so we best learn to fly as best we can."

"Do we get to sing?" Demyx asked hopefully.

"We could, but we haven't much time. Next time, though, Demyx, we'll have a concert of Peter Pan songs. Once we reach Phantom Bay, we will." Now, Vivid was with Sashi in simply believing the Phantom Bay existed. "Now…" Vivid tossed the pixie dust in the air and it landed on their head. "Ready? One, two, three…" As the four lifted into the air, Squirt left, deciding to return to his fellow squirt guns.

The four flew around the room a couple times before a certain Roxas rammed right into a wall and fell to the ground, unconscious.

xxx

Xemnas and Xaldin were continuing to fight for rule over the small domain of a barrel they had. Well, it was more of Xaldin trying to get Xemnas to react. It went a little something like this.

"Think of the presents you've brought…"

"Xemnas…?"

"Any merry little thought…!"

"Hey, Mistour Leader!"

"Think of Christmas, think of snow, think of reindeer, here we go!"

"Come now, you really _are_ acting like a child…!"

"Like a reindeer in the sky- you can fly! You can fly! You can fly! You can fly! … I'm done. What is it, Xaldin?"

Xaldin, who'd actually been getting into the song, continued: "Soon you'll zoom all around the room, all it takes is faith and trust, but the thing that's a positive must is a little bit of pixie dust…!"

A group of squirt guns had crowded around them to watch in awe, as two men of pure evil sang the children's song from Peter Pan _You Can Fly!_ Xemnas turned and looked at his counterpart, and, grinning, they continued one last bit before finally stopping: "The dust is a positive must! You can fly! You can fly! You can fly! You can fly!"

"When there's a smile in your heart, there's no better time to start, it's a very simple plan; you can do what the birdies can! You can fly! You can fly! You can fly! You can fly!" The pair laughed a bit at the end and watched the crowd disperse as the song finished. "So, Xaldin, what did you want?"

"For you to shut up…"

xxx

Luxord was at the ship's hold against quite a competitor- an ancient Moogle, Luxord figured. He had explained to Luxord that the two insane 'pirates' had captured him because they'd been enticed with the pompom that was atop his head, and that he made a bet. If the Moogle won a card game against Sashi- now Luxord because Sashi did not know _how_ to play cards- he could take all of their cargo, food, and anything else willing to go except the ship. But, if the Moogle happened to lose, then, well, he would allow Captain Doe and Vivid the absolute joy in playing with his pompom. Luxord responded, telling him that the squirt gun crew would not leave no matter what, this Luxord knew for a fact, but the game suddenly felt a lot weightier.

Luxord, as it so happened, did not quite understand the game Spit completely, but he'd told Captain Doe what that he would win, and, as he laid the last card in front of him, the Moogle counted to three. Then the game began. Ace, Two, Ace, King, Queen, King, Queen, Jack, Ten, Jack, Queen, King, Ace, One, Two, Three, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Five, Four, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Jack, Queen, King… Eventually, the game was over. Luxord had managed to lose against the Moogle's quick hands. Moments later, the Moogle left with everything on board. The food, the cargo, almost everything.

"How can I break this to the Captain?" He muttered, beginning to move up the stairs only to be confronted, at the top, by First Mate Vivid, Axel, Demyx, and Roxas. _Where's Larxene? _Luxord thought, nervously, noticing that she was absent from the group. _Oh no…_

xxx

Xigbar realized his predicament only when he made it to the Crow's Nest- Xigbar didn't control the wind; Xaldin did! He shuddered, realizing that he wasn't armed either, and he would soon be confronted by that sea dog of a squirt gun, Oranhj. He stepped onto the crow's nest, the boards beneath him creaking. There was a gray, almost faded silver squirt gun perched at the edge of the railing circling them, he even had some sort of… Mustache beneath his spout. He turned round immediately, and aimed at Xaldin who waved both hands as if to say 'I come in peace'. The squirt gun lowered its spout and waited.

Marluxia was playing with Captain Doe's long, dark brown hair for a while before finally plaiting it a few times, then put a bandana around it, and finally, the Captain's hat. She turned around and beamed at him, then glomped him, "Oh, Marluxia, it's _perfect!_" She exclaimed, and Marluxia beamed, too, unbelieving. It had taken ages for him to decide what he'd do, and, at one point, he'd nearly panicked. Sashi pulled Marluxia up, "You have been upgraded to Second Mate- Toasters!- you've clearly proven yourself worthy." Marluxia was ecstatic, "Now, then, go see how Xaldin and Xemnas are fairing- off with you!"

Just then, Larxene appeared from the hold. "I am not as good a pirate as I planned," She said, angrily, glowering at the ground.

xxx

Zexion was having all sorts of fun steering that old ship. "One. Two. Three… One. Two. Three…" The ship must have been going in a large, long circle for the past hour or so, but, since they were in the middle of nowhere, and there was no one to really pay attention, no one could tell poor Zexion that he was headed the wrong way. His story, though, is yet to be in full bloom.

xxx

That tomahawk was making progress, but it wasn't too late to save it. If only someone would notice…

xxx

Lexaeus and Saix were struggling after the ship, but they were much too exhausted to shout for help, or to try and fight the other in case someone _should_ notice them. They were half a mile behind the ship, and had realized that they were going in circles. "Lex…" Saix said, breathily, "What if… The ship makes …. A whirlpool?" He gasped, trying to keep above the water.

Lexaeus managed a gasp before starting to sink into the water; Saix helped him, but it was soon to be of no avail. Oh, how the pair were in desperate need of help.

xxx

Vexen fought with the map, and, finally deciphered something. "West!" He began shouting frantically, running out of the Captain's Cabin, "West! We need to go west!" He burst through the door only to run right into Luxord, both toppling, dramatically, to the ground.

xxx

**A/N** This chapter was not too great. Just showed that I didn't get Xaldin and Xigbar mixed up.

Axel: She lies! She just tweaked it so she wouldn't have to fix Ch. 2!

-smacks Axel-

Anyway, I just needed to make a chapter to point out what everyone was up to. The Fourth Chapter will be great, though. Promise!

Also: For those reading Off To School We Go, I am not sure when that'll be updated because I suddenly turned it into an angst and am currently trying to turn it back. Oh, and I am writing a fanfics of RikuOC for any of you who might be into it- I promise good quality!

The End of Vivid's Adverts.


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